Taking advantage of the break between semesters to do a tiny bit of cleaning. Found an old notebook with some measurements I'd taken down after I realized the whole weight loss thing was something I was gonna stick with. I'd already probably lost 30-50 pounds by the time I'd taken these measurements, which I believe originated with my desire for custom athletic wear for fat chicks. It might even have been for Junonia, from whom I'd bought a ton of sports bras and my very favorite soft cotton stretch bodysuit that I still have and wear even though it's several sizes too big for me now.

The notebook has measurements taken from a few months apart in 2002, 2006, and now 2010. Some of the ones in 2006 are slightly smaller than the ones in 2010, but I think that could be due to differences in measurements between clothed and unclothed. I lost weight steadily from about 2001 until the last big push in 2007 after I quit smoking - and then I plateaued for three years. Until this year, when I managed to pack on 10-20 pounds, depending on the month. I'm back within 8 pounds of my plateau weight now but I'll likely jump back up a couple pounds over the weekend.

School has been hopeless. I eat like shit when I'm in school. It's hard to avoid with how picky my appetites and tastes are normally and then throw me into a health hostile environment like the typical campus food court and surrounding quick food joints and the pounds just sort of pack themselves on. One semester I lived almost entirely on Doritos munchie mix and chocolate milk from the market between home and school. Luckily, I'll be graduated by this time next year. Of course then I'll probably start having babies, which I hear is also not so good on the waistline. Oh well. I'm reasonably healthy and it doesn't hurt to walk anymore. I'm not so worried about being thin as I am about avoiding pain.

Tip for anyone else stupid enough to try something like this: Don't fix something you heat up and inhale through with super glue. I may never get to use my INAVAP again. Guess it must have been time to clean the threads of the stem, because instead of unscrewing the bowl from the stem, the stem unscrewed from the base, leaving me with my weed trapped in the sealed bowl plus stem combination.

Tried a few things to get them apart then went looking for wrenches. Couldn't find any anywhere in the whole house. Did run across more than one Rush Limbaugh book on the shelf, however, which gives me serious pause about my relationship. Some people freak out finding porn or whips, but what really gives me the willies is hostile hate mongering pundits who think they're better than everyone else.

Finally bravely ventured forth to the garage to get my tool set. Rusty and dusty, but they work. Got the pieces pulled apart then cleaned the bowl threads somewhat and hoped for the best. Just to be on the safe side, I decided to stick a couple drops of super glue down in the threads of the parts I didn't want to come unscrewed again.

Or so I thought. Turns out that super glue releases super toxic fumes when heated. I took one hit off the vaporizer and oh so quickly realized my mistake. It was just air, but it was hot super glue-ized air. I hit the sink retching and dry heaving for over a minute trying to calm my whole body freak out down.

After that I decided it was probably best to let the super glue try to burn off before hitting it again, if ever. I parked it under the exhaust fan and resolved to forget about it for awhile. Sure did stink, though. Luckily the house already was a brain bomb from the bleach I'd sprayed on the shower spots earlier. How convenient to get all the headaches focused in one day instead of being spread out over several.

Meanwhile, this all happened when I was trying to medicate because I was feeling nauseous in the first place. Probably from the bleach. Or not eating. Or something. Okay, so what's the backup plan?

Aha! Oh yes, let's whip out my handy dandy Vaporstar, which basically converts a bong into a vaporizer. I get it all together, go to take a hit, then my lighter won't cooperate. You've got to be kidding me. And where is my lighter fuel? Out in my car, of course. Down the block. In the cold. And me in my pajamas. Great.

Okay, fine. Time to take that trip to the store for toilet paper that I've been delaying till today. And lighter fuel for the super awesome butane lighter that just ain't doing the trick today. And deodorant – I'm running low. I decided to go to Trader Joe's for the TP and deodorant because I didn't feel like driving all the way to Whole Foods, which I knew would have the brand I like, or at least the type. Brand doesn't matter so much, but I do like the liquid rock roll-ons because they actually neutralize the bacteria that causes odor rather than just covering it up.

I'm dying to medicate but decide to wait until I get to the store and do it in the parking lot. I get there, load my happy little car bong.... and can't find a lighter. Because of course, I'd taken it out of my purse to use upstairs in the kitchen earlier. Cripes. You've got to be kidding me. Fine – I'll go into the store, get my stuff, and see if maybe there's a remote chance that they sell lighters.

I grab the one offered variety of toilet tissue then step two paces to the left only to stare disgusted at the sole brand of deodorant on display – Tom's of Maine. Bar, not liquid. No thanks. Didn't even bother to look for lighters. Put the paper back on the shelf and walked back out.

On the way I remembered my Click a Toke pipe. Oh holy life saving device, don't fail me now! My new favorite stealth toy, I've named her my Blue Bic because she looks like a big pen. Not only that, she's an all in one self contained unit. One click, and you're toking. And I did, and it was wonderful.

If you haven't seen this thing in action, it's pretty cool. The bottom (black) part is a refillable butane lighter. The middle colored chamber is empty, and the top one is where you very lightly pack the herb and suck through the black rubber nub. I've found it's better to load small bowls and dump them frequently, otherwise it starts tasting pretty ashy after about three or four hits. It's my favorite on-the-go device so far.

I swear I think better once I've medicated a bit. I've never thought of myself as being ADD, but I certainly do have a tendency to spin and be scattered. The pot really brings me back to present and centers me one one thing, while relaxing me enough to let creative solutions flow.

Calm now, I decide to go back into the store, get the toilet paper, and order the deodorant online. In bulk. So I don't run out and have to drive to Whole Foods ever again. Not like I'm a hoarder or anything. Mission TP accomplished, I grab some new lighters and a can of butane to keep in the house from a drugstore on the way home.

The super glue is still fermenting strong inside the ceramic heater. I decide that maybe it will be happier outside for a couple days and start trying to find a way to defumigate the house. There isn't very good window circulation, and it's fucking cold outside. I think my only real shot at neutralization is to bake something stinky later before the photo party tonight. Probably not gonna happen.

I still haven't eaten. I sliced up some oranges that were so stale they were rock hard. They taste fine as long as I don't try and eat all the dried out fiber stuff. But even sliced, they are still so not keyboard friendly. I can't even venture a guess as to how long they're gonna sit there, but I'd be willing to bet that I get something easier to eat first. Maybe. Yup - canned peas it is. And then pretzels. Mm, healthy.

After taking care of the super glue stink, I used my cool new wind resistant torch lighter to get my Vaporstar going again. In a way I think I actually like it better; I only use it as my backup because I think it smells more than the ceramic vaporizer (when it doesn't have super glue in it). And that's the whole point of the exercise – making damn sure that He can't smell it – otherwise the whole deal is off and I'm back to smoking in my car two blocks away again. I'm not hiding it from him; just being appropriately considerate because he can't stand the smell. Which is unfortunate, because it's a very difficult substance to keep from stinking.

Eventually, I'd like to get something truly portable like my Blue Bic, but with less stink. Unfortunately, I'm not ready to drop down hundreds of dollars on a top of the line portable vaporizer just so his nose isn't offended when we go out.

That's why I'm on the quest to find the best vaporizers I can for the amount I can afford to spend, which so far has been in the very low price range. After I get a little ahead, however, I think I am going to order myself a VaporGenie and see how that works out. I can't decide whether to go with the traditional wood looking one or to pick one of the purty shiny colored ones. Which would you get?

Okay, this is fascinating collision of tangents.

Back when I worked for Blue Shield, I started smoking pot much more heavily, mainly due to the fact that a coworker of mine grew and sold the most amazing high energy furry orange stuff. For the first time ever, pot gave me energy instead of taking it away. That was a major turning point. I had that supply for exactly one season and then never again. But once I knew it could be done, I trained my body to respond similarly to (most) any weed.

I was also smoking at least a pack of cigarettes a day, just like I had been since 1989. I've always had lung issues. Croup until I was seven. Allergy to dust. Nill ability to hold my breath. Asthma. Then add 17 years of smoking. I coughed every day for all of my teens and twenties. It got really bad at that job, though. I was also alternately involved with raging alcoholics or methheads and partaking alongside, depending. My respiratory system was hashed.

This friend, who shall forever remain unnamed (although my roomates used to rather artlessly refer to that particular strain as "Jane" Weed - not her real name) notices me coughing uncontrollably at work and sends me off to the health food store in search of something called n-acetyl cysteine, or NAC.

Sure, what the fuck; I had nothing to lose but ongoing humiliation and embarrassment. These coughs were intense. I don't do anything half assed. When I smoke, I smoke; and when I party, I party. I had the worst smoker's cough I'd ever heard until I met my friend Kelly, and then the competition was on.

So I found the stuff and started taking double to triple the regular dosage as she'd recommended. Within a few days, my cough had cleared up immensely. Amazing stuff. Like all vitamins, it's not cheap, thirty dollars for a jar of 120, but it lasts through several bouts. I had just a few left and I started taking them recently.

Although I quit smoking cigarettes three years ago last month, it took awhile for the cough to come down. After awhile I realized that I should probably try to stop smoking pot. So I got a vaporizer instead. That did help. I didn't like the delivery timing or effects as much as directly smoking, but it did help with my cough. However, I haven't been doing that since I moved to the Bay Area. Instead I've been burning some of the most god awful stuff through some of the dirtiest resinated pipes possible. So I've been waking up with smoker's cough again. No fucking way. That's simply intolerable. I hate coughing. That's one of the major reasons I quit smoking.

Didn't feel like trying to find this stuff in a health food store around here. Thank goodness for the internet. Was taking my vitamins this morning and saw the near empty jar. Took the last one and came to look online to see if I could order more. Started googling. Velly, velly interesting...

1. Stanford is currently recruiting autistic children to see if NAC can help treat behavioral and social symptoms. It's a bit late for me, but if you're nearby and have a kid on the spectrum, I say go for it.


2. University of Minnesota Medical School researchers discovered that it may help stop the urges of those with trichotillomania, a disorder characterized by compulsive hair-pulling. Whenever I see one of these skin picking or hair pulling disorders, I immediately think of my mangled fingertips.


3. NCA is also recommended as a treatment in Changing the Course of Autism: A Scientific Approach for Parents and Physicians


4. From the Appendix F of Autistic Spectrum Disorders: Finding a Diagnosis and Getting Help:
   






N-Acetyl-Cysteine (NAC)




Use: Seizure disorders, heavy metal poisoning, aspirin or acetaminophen poisoning, viral infection, epilepsy, diabetes, movement disorders, degenerative neurological disorders, including multiple sclerosis.




Action, if known: This antioxidant amino acid increases synthesis of glutathione. It appears to have chelating effects that help remove toxic heavy metals from the body. NAC is the acetylated version of the sulfur amino acid, l-Cysteine. In the body, it turns into l-Cysteine, which in turn is a precursor to glutathione.






5. According to Wikipedia, the pharmaceutical version is not only is used medically to treat lung disorders but also amphetamine overdose. But where it gets really interesting is the non medically established usages:





The following uses have not been well-established or investigated:






• Evidence that NAC and other antioxidants can exert beneficial effects on pancreatic b-cell function in diabetes was published in a 1999 study. The authors conclude that a sufficient supply of antioxidants (NAC, vitamin C plus vitamin E, or both) may prevent or delay b-cell dysfunction in diabetes by providing protection against glucose toxicity.^[17]











• NAC is undergoing clinical trials in the United States for the treatment of obsessive-compulsive disorder.^[18] It is thought to counteract the glutamate hyperactivity in OCD.











• NAC has been shown to reduce cravings associated with chronic cocaine use in a study conducted at the Medical University of South Carolina^[19][20]











• It may reduce the incidence of chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD) exacerbations^[21]











• In the treatment of AIDS, NAC has been shown to cause a "marked increase in immunological functions and plasma albumin concentrations"^[22] Albumin concentration are inversely correlated with muscle wasting (cachexia), a condition associated with AIDS.











• An animal study indicates that acetylcysteine may decrease mortality associated with influenza ^[23]











• Animal studies suggest that NAC may help prevent noise-induced hearing loss. ^[24] A clinical trial to determine efficacy in preventing noise-induced sensorineural hearing loss in humans is currently (2006) being jointly conducted by the US Army and US Navy.^{[citation needed]}











• A human study of 262 primarily elderly individuals indicates that NAC may decrease influenza symptoms. In the study, 25% of virus-infected subjects NAC treatment developed a symptoms, whereas 79% in the placebo group developed symptoms. ^[25]











• It has been suggested that NAC may help sufferers of Samter's triad by increasing levels of glutathione allowing faster breakdown of salicylates, though there is no evidence that it is of benefit ^[26]











• There are claims that acetylcysteine taken together with vitamin C and B1 can be used to prevent and relieve symptoms of veisalgia (hangover following ethanol (alcohol) consumption). The claimed mechanism is through scavenging of acetaldehyde, a toxic intermediate in the metabolism of ethanol.^[27][28]











• It has been shown to help women with PCOS (polycystic ovary syndrome) to reduce insulin problems and possibly improve fertility. ^[29]











• Small studies have shown acetylcysteine to be of benefit to sufferers of blepharitis^{[citation needed]} and has been shown to reduce ocular soreness caused by Sjogren's syndrome.^{[citation needed]}











• Studies in mice models of Ataxia Telangictasia (ATM knockout) indicate that NAC prevents genomic instability and retards lymphomagenesis in these animals.^{[citation needed]} Clinical trials in human AT patients are underway.^{[citation needed]}











• It has been shown to help trichotillomania^[30], a condition causing compulsive hair-pulling.











• It has been shown to help methylmercury poisoning^[31]











• It has been shown effective in Unverricht-Lundborg disease in an open trial in 4 patients. A marked decrease in myoclonus and some normalization of somatosensory evoked potentials with N -acetylcysteine treatment has been documented. http://emedicine.medscape.com/article/1153370-overview









I think I want to start taking it regularly just to see if it helps me quit biting my nails. All that talk of OCD and trichotillomania really rung my bells. I've only ever met one other human being in my life that bit her nails the way I do. And that was twenty years ago. It's not a habit, it's a disorder, an uncontrollable and compulsive one that causes major discomfort and inconvenience in my life. I don't bite my nails because I want to, but because I can't stop. If this could help...

Ha! I'm not the only one to draw this connection:



Nail-Biting Stuff? The Effect of N-acetyl Cysteine on Nail-Biting







Many findings in psychopharmacology are a result of clinical observation of serendipitous findings; this pattern is repeated in this case series. Pathological nail biting is a disorder that begins in adolescence and is regarded as a disruption of normal grooming behavior. This behavior is regarded as being in the compulsive-impulsive spectrum and is associated with psychological consequences including reduced self-esteem, as well as localized trauma and risk of infection.¹ There is minimal data on the treatment of nail biting, with preliminary research suggesting that serotonergic agents may be of value, akin to other disorders in that spectrum such as compulsive skin picking and trichotillomania.²




One safe and well-tolerated compound that offers some promise as a potential treatment in compulsive-impulsive disorders is N-acetylcysteine (NAC).³ NAC is widely available as a nutraceutical supplement and is an agent with multiple properties. It has an antioxidant action in its own right and influences neutrophil inhibition, antimicrobial attachment, vasodilation, and mucolysis.³ For over half a century it has been used therapeutically, traditionally as a mucolytic, in the treatment of paracetamol poisoning and most recently as a renal protectant.⁴




Thus far, five cases of reduction in grooming disorders (trichotillomania, skin picking, and nailbiting) with NAC have been reported,⁵ with a single case report describing its use in the treatment refractory of obsessive-compulsive disorder.⁶ NAC has also been demonstrated to be useful in other impulsivity related behaviours. Grant and colleagues⁷ gave open-labelled NAC (600??1,800 mg/day) to 27 subjects with pathological gambling, with 16 responders after 8 weeks of treatment. Studies by LaRowe and colleagues⁸ and Mardikian and colleagues⁹ suggest that NAC may be useful  for the treatment of cocaine addiction.








That's the same way they discovered that WellButrin helped people stop smoking. They were testing it as an antidepressant and people just spontaneously lost their interest in smoking. Total awesomeness.





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Karaoke Therapy

EFT (Tapping)

EFT, or Tapping, feels great and is a natural addition to bedroom play. I have found that it is in fact difficult to distinguish where tapping ends and massage or other stronger tactile stimulation begins.

EFT Emotional Freedom Technique Tapping Points Demonstration

EFT Emotional Freedom Technique Addressing Money Issues Demo

Introduction to Tapping - EFT from Tapping.com

The Science of Tapping - EFT from Tapping.com

Self Acceptance - EFT from Tapping.com

Killing Procrastination - EFT from Tapping.com

Stress Relief - EFT from Tapping.com

Anger Management - EFT from Tapping.com

Waking Up - EFT from Tapping.com

Insomnia - Tapping.com

Forgiveness - EFT from Tapping.com

Quit Smoking - EFT from Tapping.com

Memory Release - EFT from Tapping.com

Chakra Clearing - EFT from Tapping.com